Out to dinner

Today was decent. As in real good friends. Lots of good news. And in a season of my life that is demanding, stressful, and chaotic. These good news days are truly golden. After an exhausting day of running errands with a four year old and a baby I was spent. As in all emotional energy gone. Turns out even happy news can be overwhelming. So we decided to bribe a babysitter and take the big girls out to dinner.

It was good. For about 20 min. It was a glimpse of the future. I have to keep telling myself that someday we will be able to go out to eat as a family. Dreams people. Dreams. It was Olive garden. It was meh... but the 20 min of fun made it all worth it.

You know what I love

Eating dinner alone. I know this sounds strange. I also know that there are so many hurting lonely people out there, who wish they had someone to eat dinner with. But for me, the amount of noise that goes on inside my house and inside my brain on a daily basis is insane. I feel like I never get the chance to fully comprehend a thought. Yet alone a sentence. One of my favorite gifts ever is the gift of time. Time with my lap top and a hot cup of coffee. Time with a good book. Time to text a friend.

I am up late tonight. I am curled up in my favorite red chair with my lap top. I am patiently anxiously awaiting the software update to Mountain Lion. I think this probably puts me in the nerd hall of fame. But its ok.

and spotify is on in the background. If I could keep my eyes open a little better this would be my idea of Heaven. Blogging, music, Beyonce to be exact, and my thoughts.

Thoughts about how much I love my kids. But how hard being a mama really is. How at 18 having a baby was way easier then being 30 and having a 12 year old. How I remember having all the same feelings she is having. And how much I wish I could make it all better.

I am thinking a lot about teaching our children. I mean really teaching. I am feeling a heaviness on my heart that Christians are lacking classes for our young people that really teach them about serving. Serving others and our families. I know the main responsibility is on the family, but the saying that it takes a village to raise a child is so true. And sometimes I feel like my village is pretty small.

What programs does your church offer? How big is your village? 

one

My baby is one. One year ago today I was holding the sweetest little baby in my arms. My hand was sore and swollen from a poorly placed IV and I was beyond exhausted. But I was happy, oh so happy, Happy to not be pregnant, happy to finally be able to say I had a son.

His big party is on Sunday. We gave him a cupcake yesterday so he could have sweets on his actual birthday. He choked on it. Then he pooped all over.

Good times.

I need pictures. maybe I will get some done this week. We will see. I am super excited for his party. My sweet friend Katie from sweet Rose studios made some adorable printables for Isaiah. I can't believe this is the last first birthday I will ever be planning.

This pic is from Friday. Isaiah had a tear duct issue we needed to clear up. The waiting room had this little car and man did he love that thing. The surgery went great, Still waiting to see if it cleared it up. Sometimes I look at his eye and think it worked and other times it still seems goopy.

But he is still the cutest one year old I know!

my new goal

 My new goal.

I will start running.

I will learn how to ROCK my off camera flash.

I will write more.

What are you trying this week?