The last few days as the baby

I really thought she was going to be the last one.

After all , I have been having babies since I was 17 years old.

But God has a sense of humor I guess. And thought I needed one more.

It was not planned. But so few good things in life are.

I am days/weeks ( depending on who you ask) away from delivering our baby.

A baby BOY !

In the mean time it's bitter sweet with Myka. She is growing up. So not the baby anymore.

But a little part of me is sad to see her not be the baby anymore.

I had a crazy dream last night that I delivered the baby. By myself ,in my bed , while I was sleeping !

The night before I had a dream that someone knocked on our door at 3 am and he was driving a u-haul truck. 

Then all of the sudden there was a block party and my husband was beating the neighbor up.

I have no idea folks.

Crazyness invades my mind while I sleep.

As long as anxiety stays away I am good. I tend to get very anxious towards the end of my pregnancies.

Probably from lack of sleep ( i swear i sleep better with a new born baby then I do while pregnant) . When I was in labor with Myka I had awful panic attacks the whole time. I am praying that God gives me peace this time.God will. Because he is faithful . 

Off to go cuddle my baby big girl.

Going to blog sugar

  HI !

I'm Lauren.

I am going to blog sugar !!

I am excited to go to California.

Excited to meet some of my favorite bloggers. And hang out with people who "get" me and my obsession with blogging. 

p.s

and this picture is like 5 years old. but I look skinny in it so I am going with it.

Tuesday coffee

Good afternoon. Anytime is a good time for coffee right ? If we really met for coffee I would expect you to gush about my lovely new space on the web !! Thanks to the talented Heather !! Check her out at life made lovely. I am so excited to have a pretty new place on the web to be real. I have a photography business and I ADORE blogging at laurenjean photography. But I really wanted a place  could share my heart at. Not that I can separate my heart from my art. But over here at Snot on my wedding dress I want to talk about ALL the things I am passionate about. Like my faith. my kids, my marriage, making a blended family work. Of course I will post lots of pictures too.

But now lets have some coffee.

 If we were having coffee I would tell you that I am REALLY frustrated with my almost 11 year old daughter recently. My mom always said you trade in one set of issues for another when it comes to raising kids. I think I am understanding that more and more. I want to be supportive of her and this time in her life. I know she is growing, changing, starting to become the person God has intended her to be. I know that's hard. I remember. I remember how BIG each and every problem I had was. I remember feeling like my mom never understood me. Like my friends were my family because they "got me".

But I want to be the one who "gets" her. But at the same time I know I can't be her friend and then her parent in this season. I have to be the parent first. The mean mom who makes her do her chores. The uncool mom who sets bedtimes in the summer and won't let her have a cell phone. The mom who only allows her one soda a day will not tolerate door slamming and back talk. Even if " every one else acts like this".

No sir. That will not be me.

But its hard. And it leads to frustrating words being said, and people feeling yucky.

So today at coffee you would see me at my desk working while Myka is at preschool. With my coffee sitting on top of the apology letter she wrote to me last night. It says I am sorry for being a brat. Her handwriting is normally much neater. I know she scribbled this in a desperate attempt to earn her privileges back.

But I am keeping it.
As a reminder, that one day she will be my best friend.
and I'm sorry notes will not be necessary.
And despite the hard stuff, having a daughter who is becoming a young adult is pretty awesome.
<

Sunday

Today was fantastic.
we made it to church on time and no one cried about going.
We had Mexican food for lunch and I swear I actually enjoyed myself.
Dining out with kids that rarely happens.
I came home and got some work done.
Will decided to speak my love language and of all the laundry.
So hot!
After I worked some I made myself sit and watch a movie with my girls.
No iPad, no laptop, no phone.
Just us and Netflix.
I even let them pick the movie.
Home alone 3.
it was pretty cute.
I would like to tell you that I stayed awake through the thing.
But that would be a lie. I can't stay awake these days.
Unless it's night time. Then I can't fall asleep.
Hopefully tonight will bring rest.
I am off to watch a few episodes of 30 rock and then hopefully sleep will follow.
Good night.